Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sunday = Mischief & Fun

Sunday = Mischief & Fun

(so many young people keep writing to me seeking career success tips.. this post is for all those young souls seeking corporate nirvana)

Time for some fun. Oh no, seriously speaking.. here are SEVEN sure-shot ways for you my dear reader.. follow these and await guaranteed doom. Trust me!
  1. Be an excuses-person. Always find some excuse for why you were unable to do a thing successfully. It could be heavy airconditioning that slowed your brain-cells down, or even the colour of the cockroach that ran across your workdesk that turned you off.
  2. Be internally focussed always. Never think from your customers' perspective. Customers are duds, after all. Life is made for things grander and subtler than quality for what's paid for.
  3. Never plan in totality. Focus only on what you were asked to do, and not the whole picture. So if you were asked to give the starting speech in a major event, make sure you do not even visit the venue once to get a 'total' feel of it. After all, that's not your job, right? The Event Manager gets paid for that.
  4. Carry an entitlement mindset. Always demand rights, privileges and opportunities. Never realise that they come only when you have delivered something of value to others. The constitution of our great nation has guaranteed some rights. If we won't demand the same, who will? The aborigines?
  5. Close your mind to successes & lessons they imply. Whenever you see someone doing really well, blame it on the stars! After all, you are brighter than her. She cracked it by sheer serendipity. Maybe the Ursa Major was exceptionally well-aligned in her favour. It will be better to invest in an astrologer than in the 6-sigma course.
  6. Never believe in Kaizen. It is for the Japanese. We are not Japanese. Errors must be made repeatedly to have some meaningful learnings from them. Of course, if only your boss could empower you enough to enable this. Simple soul!
  7. Produce work that's truly below standard. It is only when we lose our touch with material reality that higher realisations can seep in. What's the point after all, the long-term point, in getting all spellings, grammar, structure right in a report, when the Sun is surely - ultimately - going to turn into a red giant swallowing up mother Earth? Of course, the idiotic team leader could not understand this profound spiritual reality. How we wish he had a mother who could explain this to him while he was growing up!
So let's get cracking. We got work to do!


Anonymous said...

Good Morning! sir,
Wow, these are the other aspects of learning (sunday special). We have to satisfy our customers, but this is for our benefit. Ultimately we work for ourselves.

Thank you so much sir for these real life tips for us. Really it contains lots of fun.

Test said...

Hulesh, maybe fun is the most serious business after all :-)

Umesh C Sharma said...

WOW! amazing & really intresting to read.thanks a lot sir.

Richa Rai said...

Respected sir,in the past 13 months we have learned all these practical tips.But the real challenge is in implementing those tips.No problem! Protons are meant for accepting new challenges everyday.With positive energy and determination we will execute them.