Women of India rise against rape

System versus the People

The Indian capital and the Indian media have witnessed a turbulent period recently. Much to the chagrin of the ruling classes (who'd prefer a docile politically dead youth anytime), the educated urban youth of India actually came out in strength on the main street of Delhi - the Rajpath - demanding replies from the rulers. As expected, no replies were forthcoming. Leaders were not to be seen when needed the most. Hiding behind the vast paraphernalia of an inert, inept "system", the leaders let the protests take an ugly turn. Today, a horrified youth is witnessing various organs of the state fighting with each other (instead of focusing on the main issue - women's rights and dignity), and - as various sections of the media allege - trying to destroy a genuine movement of resistance (against an apathetic system) by hyping the story of one dead gentleman constable. May the departed soul rest in peace - but hundreds of women are raped and killed brutally each year. No leader or policeman expresses similar grave anguish then. So as the media alleges, the farce is clear for everyone to see - calling a spade a spade will do no harm.

In this entire episode, over the past 10 days, I wrote some pieces expressing my experiences. Here is the first:



Dear Indian Fathers,

From today onwards, every single day, tell your son(s) repeatedly that "You must respect all women, including your sister(s), mother, and more importantly - other women. If you do not respect all women, you will lose my love, care and protection. You will be a paapi, a criminal and a scoundrel."

When you do this repeatedly for many months and years, Indian society will start to change.

There is no hope for this great nation otherwise. Do it now. Do it from now.

I posted this on social media and was glad to receive great feedback. 

Then came this expression of desperation and sorrow from a girl student of mine:

दिल्ली में हुई वारदात के माहौल में मेरी एक स्टूडेंट ने मुझे एप्रोच किया और कहा की सर एक पर्सनल काउंसलिंग आपसे चाहिए .. मैं आउटस्टेशन स्टूडेंट हूँ और इंदौर में हॉस्टल में रहती हूँ .. मुझे बहोत कुछ आपको बताना है .. मैंने उसे टाइम दिया और मिलने के लिए बुलाया। उससे हुई बातचीत का सार इस प्रकार था --- पूरा पढ़ें ---

"सर, समाज लड़कियों से क्या चाहता है? हम अच्छे घर की लड़की हैं और पढ़ लिख कर आगे बढ़ना चाहते हैं। पर इस समाज के लड़के और मर्द - ज्यादातर - ऐसा नहीं चाहते और पूरी कोशिश करतें हैं की ऐसा न हो पाए। सर, जब भी मैं सड़क पर निकलती हूँ, ये मान कर, मन बना कर निकलती हूँ, की 3 से 4 लड़के तो कम से कम गंदे कॉमेंट्स पास करेंगे ही। सड़क पर निकलो तो मोटर साइकिल पर तेज़ी से आके गन्दी गन्दी बातें बोल कर भाग जातें हैं। ऐसा हर बार होता है, एक बार नहीं। पुलिस के पास जाने का सोचो तो डर लगता हैं की जीन्स टीशर्ट पहनी लड़की को किस नज़र से देखा जायेगा पता नहीं। और सर, ऐसा तो है ही नहीं की आप अगर सलवार कुरता पहन लो तो सब आपकी इज्ज़त करने लगेंगे। पहले तो ये ही लड़के आपको बैकवर्ड कहेंगे और फिर ये ही लड़के आपको छेड़ने मे आनंद लेंगे। कई बार इच्छा हुई की पलट कर जवाब दूं ... पर डर ये लगा की अगर ये एक लड़का का 3 या 4 लडकों को ले कर आ गया तब? ये तो मुझे भी उसी दिल्ली वाली लड़की की तरह नुकसान पंहुचा देंगे। सर, लड़के तो लड़के, बड़े भी वैसे ही हैं। अगर कोई पापा या दादा की उम्र का आदमी सड़क पर आपको मौका मिलते ही छेड़ने लगे या गंदे गंदे कमेंट्स पास करे तो सर, पूरे समाज पर से भरोसा उठ जाता है। अगर सब मर्द एक सामान अपनी माँ और बेहन को छोड़ कर बाकि सबको केवल एक ऑब्जेक्ट के रूप में देखते हैं तो ऐसा कब तक चलेगा? क्या हम पढाई छोड़ कर घर बैठ जायें? और सर, इन्टरनेट और मोबाइल ने तो वो कबाड़ा किया है की पूछिए मत। कई लड़के उसका इस्तेमाल केवल गन्दी फिल्में देखने के लिए करते हैं। एक बार हम 3 लड़कियां ऑटो में बैठी तो सबसे पहले ऑटो वाले ने अपना मोबाइल आगे रखा, उसमे गन्दी फिल्म चालू की, और हम सब हक्के बक्के रह गए। क्या करते? पुलिस के पास जाते? एग्जाम छोड़ कर? पापा को फ़ोन लगाते ? ताकि वो घबरा कर यहाँ आते और हमें ले कर चले जाते ? सर, हम लडकियां क्या करें? बहोत निराशा होती है कोई सोलूशन नहीं देख कर। और दिन प्रतिदिन सब बिगड़ ही रहा है सुधर नहीं रहा। आप आदमी हैं आप शायद पूरी तरह इस पीड़ा को फील नहीं करेंगे। पर दुःख के सिवा कुछ नहीं मिलता डेली बेसिस पर। टेबल पर पढने के लिए बैठो तो येही सब याद आता है।"

(translated it means roughly that 'every single time I go on to the streets of my city, I am eve-teased, harassed and demoralised by the men and boys around me. The methods and intensity differ from incident to incident, but the intent remains the same').

All I could say to her was - I feel sorry for you, and women of this nation. But don't lose hope. Just carry on with life, with a great hope that things will slowly change. The Indian male, at present, is unable to digest the Indian woman's freedom. But ultimately he will have to accept it. Historically, India was an equal society. Past 300 - 400 years have ruined us. But we will resurrect. We surely will. Till then, don't lose hope.

Witnessing the strong police action on youngsters, the poet in me then wrote:

Male police beating women!

Mat maaro in bachcho ko..
Yeh ek din ka rosh nahin..
Barson ki beizzati ka..
Aaj hisab mangti hai desh ki naari.
(translated it means 'do not hit these young people, for this is not the anger of a single day... the Indian woman is now seeking answers to decades of depredation and insult').


And finally came this from my 8 year old daughter:

With a quizzical look in her eyes, my daughter (class 4th) asked me this morning : "Daddy, why do boys in my class laugh at me when I tell them I like to play football? Why do they say it is not a girls' sport? Then they should stop swimming - it is not a boys' sport."

This is one of the best schools in town, and the students are from the best families.

What a mirror this statement holds to our society. Irrespective of income brackets, social layer and education levels, it is all the same from top to bottom, generally.
If we start seriously now, perhaps in another 20 - 30 years, this society will change for the better.

For the police, every couple is a criminal couple.
What about constitutional freedom they have by birth?

As expected after such a series of incidents, the local police force in various cities have become very active. They have started catching the roadside romeos (which is good), and in their over-zealous outreach, have started harassing genuine couples (many of them above 18 years of age) found together in parks. I find it disgusting that to stop eve-teasing, you have to actually catch and insult couples sitting in parks willingly! Will this not further frustrate both boys and girls? Is this not a direct attack on the young girls' (above 18 years of age) right to choose their friends, boyfriends, or future life partners? We have to learn to give them their space! This is the problem with a heavy handed approach - any boy or girl sitting in a park is suddenly the target of the police force. Our medieval mindsets will never mature, it seems. Of course, decency has to be maintained by these couples.


People's perceptions also vary a lot. A female government officer in a function in MP felt that the gang-raped girl (Delhi) should not have put up such a resistance that the criminals felt like tearing her intestines apart. She felt that the victim would have been better off by surrendering. It really takes all kinds! Click here to read

Finally :

Heartwarming fact - women are taking to the street raising their voice against the daily string of atrocities against them. And men in large number are joining them.

Sad fact - the system is doing exactly what it does best - conspire, retaliate, pretend and seek revenge from those in the forefront. It does not realise that this is a great moment to be captured for the benefit of posterity.

But something tells me, no matter how rigid the system may be, it's going to be different this time. Even those "inside" the system have women folk in their families, after all.
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